Eight-year-old Kevin has spent the past 6
years in a series of foster homes. His parents
are unable to take care of him because they
are homeless and addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Kevin has just become available for adoption,
but because of his age and family background,
families are not waiting in line to make a
home for him.
Larry and Adam, however, are interested in
adopting Kevin. They are a gay couple with
a completed home study. From all indications,
they would be sensitive and caring parents.
Kevin's social worker must make a difficult
decision, one that is arising more frequently
these days. Should a gay couple be permitted
to adopt?
Gay men and lesbians have always adopted,
though in the past they usually hid their
sexual orientation. Today, as they have become
more visible in all aspects of society, they
are determined to be considered seriously
as potential adoptive parents. This may become
easier in light of the fact that the number
of gay and lesbian biological parents in the
United States has increased dramatically during
the past two decades. In 1976, there were
an estimated 300,000 to 500,000; today, there
are an estimated 1.5 to 5 million lesbian
mothers and 1 to 3 million gay fathers. As
of 1990, an estimated 6 to 14 million children
were being raised in gay and lesbian households.1
Despite this increase, there is widespread
reservation about homosexual parents raising
children. Social workers must consider many
issues when selecting gay parents to adopt
a child. They may wonder how the children
will be raised and how they will feel about
themselves and their parents. Will they be
embarrassed because they have two mothers
or two fathers, or because their single mother
dates women or their unmarried father has
a boyfriend? Will their friends tease them?
Will they be more likely to be homosexual
than children raised by heterosexual parents?
And most important, how will having been raised
by gay or lesbian parents affect them as they
grow into adulthood?
This factsheet addresses the current status
of gay and lesbian parenting, cites relevant
literature as appropriate, and provides an
overview of state laws on adoption by homosexual
parents. It includes an extensive list of
support groups and resources that may be helpful
to gay and lesbian prospective adoptive parents
or successful adoptive parents as well as
the adoption professionals who work with them.
Also, in the appendices, position statements
of several national organizations on the suitability
of homosexuals to adopt are provided.
Unfortunately, the well-being of children
who grow up with lesbian and gay adoptive
parents cannot be predicted. The number of
homosexuals who have adopted is unknown, and
their children, some of whom are grown, are
often reluctant to speak out.
There has been some research on homosexual
parenting. This research focuses mainly on
children born to donor-inseminated lesbians
or those raised by a parent, once married,
who is now living a gay lifestyle. While this
is not exactly the same situation as adoptive
parenting, this information is invaluable
for social workers struggling with difficult
decisions, for gay men and lesbians who want
to be parents, for their families and friends,
and for anyone who needs help to understand
and support a nontraditional lifestyle.
Janet C. was married for 10 years before
she acknowledged that she was a lesbian. By
that time, she had given birth to two daughters,
Julie and Elinor. She and her husband had
an amicable divorce and shared joint custody
of their children, then ages 8 and 6. Eight
months later, Janet moved in with Pamala,
a co-worker. They have lived together for
13 years; for most of that time, Janet's children
have lived with them.
Julie, now 22, says, "There were times when
I felt embarrassed. Friends would ask me who
Pamala was. I would say, 'She's my aunt.'
But when I think about my growing up years,
I was happier than most of my friends. I could
always talk to my mom and to Pamala, and I
had a close relationship with my father, too."
Julie points out that she didn't know anyone
else in her situation when she was growing
up. "It's different today. There are lots
of kids with gay parents, and it's much more
accepted. I don't think I suffered any, and
I feel good about who I am."
Like most lesbians and gay men who are or
want to be parents, Janet wondered about the
way her alternative way of living would affect
her children. "I already had children when
I recognized my sexual preference," she says.
"But I'm not certain I would have deliberately
given birth to or tried to adopt a child.
I can understand a social worker's dilemma,
and I agree that a loving, two-parent, heterosexual
household is probably the most stable for
a child. But how many children have that?
Nothing is perfect."
When Shirley Sagin, a Philadelphia social
worker, placed Trisha (not her real name)
with a lesbian couple 23 years ago, she was
a pioneer. "It was not something most social
workers would have considered back then, but
I knew that this was the right place for Trisha.
I was looking for stability, a couple willing
to go the extra mile for a child with Trisha's
type of mental disability. I made the placement
with more confidence than anxiety." Today,
Trisha is 26 and a happy and healthy member
of her family.
Testimony of children who have grown up in
gay households may turn out to provide the
most valid information about the results of
gay parenting. Research studies, often conducted
by individuals or organizations with a vested
interest in the outcome, are contradictory.
Research maligning gay and lesbian parenting
has been attacked as having been conducted
by right wing or fundamentalist groups; that
which supports homosexual parenting is said
to reflect the bias of those who are themselves
gay or who support gay rights.
Meanwhile, it is critical to sort out myth
from fact so that families can make responsible
choices, social workers can examine their
own biases and make informed decisions, and
children with gay parents can receive the
support they need to lead productive and fulfilling
lives.
The following are some of the thoughts that
people express about homosexuality and homosexual
parenting placed in the context of literature,
clinical experience, and general observations.
"Homosexuality is immoral."
In the early 1970s, the American Psychiatric
Association and American Psychological Association
both declared that homosexuality was not a
mental illness.2
However, homosexuality is still considered
sinful and immoral to many in this country—a
belief probably learned in childhood and supported
by fundamentalist and orthodox religious groups
and conservative family life organizations.
"The mom and dad family is the natural environment
for child rearing and is the foundation for
civilization," state researchers at the Family
Research Council, a conservative research
and family advocacy organization in Washington,
DC. "Homosexual relationships are not the
equivalent of marriage, and children should
not be placed into homosexual households."3
Research that demonstrates that homosexuals
do not choose their sexual preference but
instead experience it as a biological certainty
does not convince individuals with the above
viewpoint that it is a moral, acceptable lifestyle.
Nor does anthropological research that indicates
homosexuality is present in all cultures throughout
the world in varying proportions of the population.
Even if proponents of the "homosexual is immoral"
view could accept these latter two premises,
they would say it does not mean that homosexuals
should be parents.
No research can prove that a lifestyle or
sexual preference is moral or immoral. But
Diana and Karen, a lesbian couple who live
in a comfortable suburban setting, speak for
many others when they say that other factors
need to be taken into consideration. They
see themselves as family-minded people who
have much to offer their two children. "We're
big on tradition," says Karen. "We both work
hard, we have a safe home in a middle-class
neighborhood, we don't drink or do drugs.
We are generous, unselfish people. Compared
to all of the things children can be traumatized
about—divorce, violence, alcoholism,
drug use, chaotic homes—I think what
we have is not very significant."
"Children will be molested by homosexual
parents."
Reverend Maurice Gordon, pastor of the Lovingway
Pentecostal Church in Denver, Colorado,
speaks for those who believe implicitly that
homosexuals are dangerous. "Under no circumstances
should a child be allowed to be brought up
in a homosexual environment. I'm not saying
that the child would automatically be sexually
abused by his homosexual parent, but he probably
would be abused by the homosexual's friends."4
The response of the Child
Welfare League of America and a substantial
group of researchers is that this fear of
molestation is totally unfounded. A recent
Child Welfare League report unequivocally
states that, "the likelihood of homosexual
adopters molesting children placed with them
is no greater than it is for the general population.
Ninety percent of all pedophiles are heterosexual
males."5
Numerous studies support this. One conducted
by the Connecticut Correctional Institute
in 1978 repeatedly noted the absence of a
connection between homosexuals and child molestation.
"The belief that homosexuals are particularly
attracted to children is completely unsupported
by our data. The child offenders who engaged
in adult sexual relations as well were heterosexual."6
"Children will be teased and harassed."
Children of gay men and lesbians are vulnerable
to teasing and harassment, particularly as
they approach adolescence when they want to
be like their friends. How much of a problem
is it? Is it likely to cause lasting psychological
damage?
Gay parents are well aware of the difficulties
that a child may face—many have dealt
with prejudice all of their lives. Most see
it as an opportunity for ongoing discussion
that will help their children grow as people.
Drs. Kenneth Morgen and Sam Westrick adopted
Simon, and later, Trevor, as infants. Morgen
wrote about their experience in a book entitled
Getting
Simon. He writes about the differences
that make up our society and how Simon will
perceive them. "We come in all shapes, sizes,
and colors. Some kids come from rich homes,
some from poor homes, some are fat, some are
skinny, some have curly hair when straight
is in and straight when curly is in; many
have divorced parents, some have two moms
or two dads. All kids who have anything different
about them, which is most kids, are vulnerable
to teasing. I am confident that we will instill
in our sons a sense of self-esteem that will
make them know that they are persons of worth
in their own rights."
Abby Ruder, a therapist, lesbian, and adoptive
mother, acknowledges that children will be
teased, and takes great pains to prepare her
homosexual clients for some of the problems
that their children will face. She feels that
families should have a plan for dealing with
society's attitude toward them. "Children
with gay or lesbian parents need to be taught
when it's okay to tell people and when not
to. A family doesn't have to be 'out' all
of the time. My 9-year-old whom I adopted
transracially has become very adept at knowing
when to tell people that she has two mommies."
Tim Fisher, father of two children and the
former Executive Director of Gay
and Lesbian Parents International which
was remnamed
Famility Equality Council ,
a support group with 60 chapters and 1,400
members, speaks about helping kids understand
the prejudice they might encounter. He
has seen how support groups have helped
children interact with others like themselves
and learn ways to deal with teasing. He
has told his children about his experiences
growing up in a religious family. "When
I was a kid, my family was very involved
in the church. Kids used to tease me,
calling me a 'Holy Roller.' Kids will
always find something to pick on."
Wendell Ricketts and Roberta Achtenberg,
in the article "Adoption and Foster Parenting
for Lesbians and Gay Men: Creating New Traditions
in Family" from Homosexuality and Family
Relations, address social workers grappling
with the issue by asking, "...should children
be sheltered from every experience in which
their difference might challenge prejudice,
ignorance, or the status quo (or in which
they would be 'exposed' to the difference
of others)? Agencies conforming to such a
standard must ask themselves whether it is
their function to honor the system that generates
stigma by upholding its constraints." They
continue, "Teasing is what children do. Does
this mean that child welfare policy must be
set at a level no higher than the social interactions
of children?"7
Nonetheless, social workers and even some
gay men and lesbians considering adoption
wonder if it is in the best interest of a
child to be raised by homosexual parents.
"It can be too hard a transition for some
children, especially those who are older and
have already formed preconceived notions about
homosexuality," explains therapist Ruder.
"Younger children usually have an easier time
adjusting to a gay and lesbian parented home.
They haven't learned the societal biases against
gays and lesbians yet." When a gay person
or persons are being considered as potential
adoptive parents for an older child, the child
should be told about the person's sexual preference
and asked his feelings about it. If the child
is comfortable with the information, the caseworker
can proceed to the next step.
For younger children adopted by homosexuals,
parents must think about how they will explain,
in age- appropriate language, not only how
and why the child was adopted, but also about
the parents' sexual preference. Both are complex
subjects that should be addressed a number
of times as the child grows and matures, each
time adding new information as the child asks
about it and is able to absorb and understand
it. Then both topics become accepted facts
of family life, neither overemphasized nor
underemphasized. The National Adoption Information
Clearinghouse publication "Explaining Adoption to Your Child"
and the book The
Final Closet: The Gay Parents' Guide for Coming
Out to Their Children may be helpful.
"Children raised in homosexual households
will become gay."
Psychologist J. Craig Peery of Brigham Young
University argues that children grow up to
be much like their parents. "Children from
large families are more likely to have larger
families...educational attainment, career
choice, etc. are similar to their parents.
Children who suffer child abuse often become
child abusers... It is reasonable to assume
that children raised in homosexual households
would be more likely either to become homosexual
themselves or to become sexually promiscuous."8
Others don't see this argument as reasonable.
The bulk of evidence to date is that children
raised by homosexuals are no more likely to
become homosexual than children raised by
heterosexuals. As one researcher put it, "If
heterosexual parenting is insufficient to
ensure that children will also be heterosexual,
then there is no reason to conclude that children
of homosexuals also will be gay."9
And children do not necessarily choose the
same lifestyle as their parents in other areas.
Barbara Tremitiere of York, Pennsylvania,
an expert on large adoptive families, says
that children in large adoptive families often
do not choose to have a large family when
they become adults.10
Studies asking the sons and daughters of
gay fathers to express their sexual preference
showed the majority of children to be heterosexual,
with the proportion of gay offspring similar
to that of any random population. And an assessment
of more than 300 children born to gay or lesbian
parents in 12 different samples shows no evidence
of "significant disturbances of any kind in
the development of sexual identity among these
individuals."11
Dave, an 18-year-old who grew up in the home
of his lesbian mother and her partner after
his parents divorced, speaks of the fear he
had while growing up of turning out gay as
well. "I never told anybody about my parents
then, because I felt if they knew, they would
stereotype me as being gay because of them.
I think I used to make it more of a problem
in my head than it ever actually was. My parents
weren't trying to pressure me to be gay. My
sexuality was strictly my decision and they
weren't going to have anything to do with
it. They were delighted when I began to date
women."
A gay father, when asked if he wanted his
son to be gay, answered poignantly. "I want
my son to be happy. Being gay in our society
is very difficult and can be very painful.
If I could choose, I would hope he'd be straight
and have an easier life than I've had."
"Children will develop problems growing
up in an 'unnatural' lifestyle."
Since courts have expressed concern that
children raised by gay and lesbian parents
may have difficulties with their personal
and psychological development, self-esteem,
and social and peer relationships, the research
that has been done has focused on the effects
of this type of upbringing on children.
The studies conclude that children of gay
parents are no different than their counterparts
raised by heterosexual parents. In "Children
of Lesbian and Gay Parents," an article in
Child Development in 1992, Charlotte
Patterson states, "Despite dire predictions
about children based on well-known theories
of psychosocial development, and despite the
accumulation of a substantial body of research
investigating these issues, not a single study
has found children of gay or lesbian parents
to be disadvantaged in any significant respect
relative to children of heterosexual parents."12
Psychiatrist Laurintine Fromm, of the Institute
of Pennsylvania Hospital, agrees with that
finding. "[The] literature...does not indicate
that these children fare any worse [than those
of heterosexual parents] in any area of psychological
development or sexual identity formation.
A parent's capacity to be respectful and supportive
of the child's autonomy and to maintain her
own intimate attachments, far outweighs the
influence of the parent's sexual orientation
alone."
The debate goes on and will continue as long
as there are differing views about homosexuality.
Considering these different views, should
social workers place children with gay men
or lesbians?
"We are trying to deal as best we can with
what we know," explains Lydia Durbin, Director
of Placement at Family and Children's Services,
a Delaware adoption agency. "We are just
finding our way, learning how to work within
our agencies and in the community. There
are so many different levels of prejudice.
In our agency, we have had trainings that
include all our staff, including the receptionist.
We want people to get in touch with their
feelings and begin to understand the needs
of the clients."
To make the best placement decision for children,
social workers need to answer the following
questions:
Is this person or couple caring, nurturing,
and sensitive to others?
Do they have the qualities needed to parent
a child?
What are their individual strengths and
weaknesses?
Do they have the capacity to nurture a
child not born to them?
In addition, for prospective homosexual adopters,
Denise Goodman, Ph.D., a consultant and trainer
in Ohio, firmly believes that workers need
to have a holistic understanding that includes
finding out the answers to questions about
their homosexuality. "I counsel workers to
ask homosexual applicants where they are in
their individual development. Have they recently
come out? Are they comfortable with their
self-image and with being gay? Having a positive
self-image will provide a model for an adopted
child. I want to know about family support
and how those who are important in their lives
view them and their idea of adopting. I ask
questions about the stability of their relationship
and try to see how committed they are to each
other. Do they have wills? Have they bought
a home? Do they share finances? Once you know
more about their situation, you can help them
access appropriate resources and connect them
with other gay or lesbian adopters."
Goodman, who has trained thousands of social
workers in Ohio, sees the opportunity for
change, but has a few concerns. "While it
is gratifying to see social workers become
more open, if agency administrators are not
fully behind the workers, little will change.
Families will be approved and never hear about
an available child; those who aren't open
about their sexuality will receive a child,
while 'honest' applicants will wait, or other
issues will surface so that a family is not
accepted."
If a sense of trust and openness is established
between a social worker and applicant, the
worker can help to decide when privacy is
the best route or when an applicant can be
more outspoken. It ultimately depends on state
laws and the views of presiding judges.
Madeline and her partner, Susan, adopted
a girl who had spent her first 5 years in
foster care living in 7 different placements.
While it was clear that the child needed a
permanent family, Madeline's social worker
told her not to say that she is a lesbian.
The social worker felt that revealing this
information might jeopardize the adoption.
Madeline explains, "My social worker thought
it would be easier if she just portrayed me
as a single woman who shares a home with another
woman. Other adoption professionals had also
suggested this."
Only two states, Florida and New Hampshire,
specifically bar the adoption of children
by gay and lesbian adults, but homosexual
couples are not legally recognized and there
are anti-sodomy statutes in 28 states. Each
state decides independently who can adopt.
Final decisions are made by judges at the
county level. They consider the "best interest"
of the child, a concept interpreted differently
by different judges. Because of the vague
meaning of "best interest," sympathetic social
workers will often not mention sexual preference
in their home study reports to avoid unnecessary
questions.
While there have been openly gay adoptions
in a number of jurisdictions, including the
District of Columbia, Ohio, New Mexico, and
California, the most common practice is for
a single adopter to apply as the "legal" adopter
of the child. Couples who both want custody
then apply for a "second parent adoption."
This growing practice was tested in a landmark
case in Vermont in 1993. Jane Van Buren had
given birth to two boys through anonymous
donor insemination. According to the law,
only Ms. Van Buren was considered their parent—her
partner, Deborah Lashman, had no legal standing.
If their mother died, the children would be
orphaned; if the couple split up, the boys'
relationship with Ms. Lashman would not be
protected nor would she be obligated to provide
for them. The couple filed a petition for
a second parent adoption, asking the probate
court to allow Ms. Lashman to adopt the children
while leaving Ms. Van Buren's parental rights
intact.
While all parties agreed and a psychological
evaluation was submitted, the court denied
the adoptions because Ms. Lashman is not married
to the biological parent. Vermont law does
not recognize couples who cannot legally marry.
The couple appealed the case to the state
supreme court arguing that the adoption was
in the best interests of both children. On
June 18, 1993, the court unanimously reversed
the decision of the lower court and awarded
joint custody to the couple.13
With this decision, Deborah Lashman became
a legal parent of the two boys. The Vermont
Supreme Court was the first state supreme
court to recognize lesbian co-parent adoptions.
As a result of this finding, other couples
are likely to find second parent adoptions
easier to accomplish in Vermont and in other
areas of the country.14
To date, second parent adoptions have been
granted in Alaska, California, Minnesota,
Oregon, Washington, the District of Columbia,
Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania,
and Vermont.15
Many homosexuals are troubled by the feeling
that adoption agencies offer them the children
who are the most difficult to place; those
with physical, mental, or emotional disabilities;
those who are older; and African-American
and other children of color.
"Often gay parents will get harder children
because it's the last resort," Bob Diamond,
Executive Director of AASK
Northern California in Oakland, admits. (This
adoption organization was the first private
adoption agency to be licensed in California.
It has 11 regional and state offices and works
with 400 adoption agencies nationwide.) "A
lot of social workers will say, 'Well, no
one is going to take this kid except gay people.'
Being homosexual is not usually seen as a
positive factor," he adds, noting that single
people in general are usually treated as "second-class
citizens" by most adoption agencies.16
Roberta Achtenberg, Executive Director of
the National
Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco,
bluntly confirms that there is an unspoken
ranking within the adoption network. "The
hierarchy prefers white, married, middle or
upper middle class couples, and these couples
don't want the special needs kids. The less
preferred children then go to unmarried couples
of all kinds, single individuals, and gay
people. The children are less preferred, and
the recipients are less preferred."
What strikes psychologist April Martin, author
of The
Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook,
as ironic, is that the same bureaucracies
that believe that lesbians and gay men are
not suitable parents will place children who
require the most highly skilled parenting
with them. She and others have pointed out
that nontraditional families have unique strengths
that make them excellent, and in some cases,
the best homes for certain children. Among
them is an ability to accept differences,
to understand what it is like to be in the
minority, to demonstrate flexible gender roles,
to be open about sexuality with children who
have been sexually abused, and to understand
the special needs of homosexual children.
Alicia, 17, who was brought up by a lesbian
couple, feels that she benefitted from her
family being different. "I think people who
haven't had the same experiences are more
judgmental and biased. I can get along with
anybody. I get along with a lot more diverse
crowd than most of my friends."
April Martin suggests that homosexuals who
want to adopt younger, healthier children
can find them by working with private agencies
who do international adoptions or by working
directly with birthparents. Some birthparents
have specifically chosen openly gay households
for their children. A mother who had negative
experiences with men selected a family of
women for her child; another who found it
difficult to relinquish her child to another
woman chose two men.17
Tom and Martin, a New Jersey couple in their
40's, adopted 3-year-old Kate, who had been
relinquished by her birthmother at age 2.
A year later, they were asked by the birthmother
to adopt Kate's younger sister, Ann. They
had developed an open relationship with the
birthmother, who felt confident that they
were the best parents for her children.
International adoption is another possibility
for single people. However, being openly
gay is discouraged since many of the children
come from traditional, underdeveloped countries
where a homosexual lifestyle is not accepted.
Once an adoption is completed, the business
of family life begins. Like all adopters,
gay men and lesbians are seeking ways to incorporate
their children into their lives and to help
them make a smooth transition. They also want
to meet other homosexuals who have taken on
the challenge of parenting. There is a growing
number of support groups to meet these needs.
Len and Fernando, a multiethnic gay couple
who adopted 3-year-old Isabel as a toddler,
are members of an active group in the Philadelphia
area. "Speaking to the parents of older children
gives us ideas of how to cope with issues
as they come up. Most of the members are women.
We could use a few more men!"
Isabel, who is African-American, has the
chance to meet other African-American, adopted
children and enjoys the many activities planned
for families. Their group is part of a larger
support network, Philadelphia
Family Pride, that serves more than 250
gay and lesbian families in the Delaware Valley.
In addition to giving its members a chance
to socialize, the group's advocacy and educational
projects encourage parents to work with teachers
on adoption, race, and alternative family
issues that affect their children. Members
participate in conferences, receive local
and national newsletters, and learn about
books and articles for themselves and their
children.
Older children of gay parents have formed
their own network, Colage, or Children
of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere . A comprehensive
list of support groups, by state, is included
in the appendices.
A vital support network of family and friends
is important for any family—adoptive,
biological, one with heterosexual parents,
or one with homosexual parents. Some homosexual
adoptive parents have found that even if their
parents had a difficult time accepting their
homosexuality, the parents readily accept
their new role as grandparents. It is almost
as if having children makes them more like
mainstream families. "Our parents reacted
to our desire to parent pretty much the same
way they reacted to our coming out," says
Fisher of the Gay
and Lesbian Parents Coalition, International.
They said, 'We love you...but let's not talk
about it.' With the kids, they have softened
their tone a little. They are grandparents
who adore their grandchildren."
Madeline's family, a large Irish Catholic
clan with 10 brothers and sisters, were very
supportive of her adoption decision. "I came
out to my family about 15 years ago. You have
to understand that I come from a very strict
Irish Catholic background. It took about 10
years before my parents accepted that I was
a lesbian, so by the time my partner and I
were considering adopting and they saw that
we were committed to each other, they were
supportive and welcomed our plan."
Both of the above examples are of couples
who have long-standing relationships and who
chose to adopt after many years together.
Denise Goodman points out that families of
people more recently "out" may need time to
adjust to the idea of grandchildren whom they
have to explain to their neighbors and friends.
Conclusion
The increasing number of homosexuals choosing
to adopt has brought the issue of gay and
lesbian parenting to the forefront. Social
workers are being asked to look carefully
at their own feelings and to make reasonable
judgments about what is in the best interest
of children who need families. The increasing
number of children needing adoptive families
puts pressure on workers to find appropriate
families. Should stable, nurturing, mature
applicants be turned away only on the basis
of sexual preference?
There is a growing body of research that
concludes that children raised by homosexuals
have no more problems than those raised in
heterosexual families. Those that quarrel
with these findings state that the samples
are too small and biased. Clearly, what is
needed are definitive studies that would follow
larger numbers of children over a long period
of time. Longitudinal studies on children
adopted by homosexuals have not been conducted
because many of the children who have been
adopted are still fairly young. That research,
when completed, will provide more information
for the ongoing debate.
In the meantime, adoptions will continue.
Many gay and lesbian couples and individuals
yearn to parent children, just as heterosexual
individuals and couples do. Activists will
push to make sure that adoptions by gay men
and lesbians are open and public. How these
efforts will be met by social workers, judges,
and the community remains to be seen.
Written by Gloria Hochman, Mady Prowler,
and Anna Huston of the National Adoption
Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, for
the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse,
1995. Used by permission.
Internet resources and links added
by Adoptions.Com,
2000 - 2008
Endnotes
1 Ann
Sullivan, ed., Issues in Gay and Lesbian Adoption:
Proceedings of the Fourth Annual Peirce-Warwick
Adoption Symposium (Washington, DC: Child
Welfare League of America, 1995) 5. 2 Wendell
Ricketts, Lesbians and Gay Men as Foster Parents
(Portland, ME: University of Southern Maine, 1991)
165. 3 Robert
H. Knight and Daniel S. Garcia, "Homosexual Parenting:
Bad for Children, Bad for Society," Insight
(Washington, DC: Family Research Council, 1994)
5. 4 Jerry
J. Bigner and Frederick W. Bozett, "Parenting
by Gay Fathers," Homosexuality and Family Relations
(New York: Haworth Press, 1990) 156. 5 Sullivan, 4. 6 Ricketts,
59. 7 Wendell
Ricketts and Roberta Achtenberg, "Adoption and
Foster Parenting for Lesbians and Gay Men: Creating
New Traditions in Family,"Homosexuality and
Family Relations, edited by Frederick W. Bozett
and Marvin B. Sussman (New York: Haworth Press,
1990) 89. 8 Knight
and Garcia, 4. 9 Bigner
and Bozett, 169. 10 Barbara Tremitiere, North American Council on Adoptable
Children Conference, Norfolk, VA, August 1995,
workshop on "Large Adoptive Families." 11 Charlotte
Patterson, "Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents,"
Child Development (1992) 1032. 12 Ibid. 13 Charlotte Patterson, "Adoption of Minor Children by
Lesbian and Gay Adults: A Social Science Perspective,"
Duke Journal of Gender Law and Policy (Spring
1995: volume 2 number 1) 194. 14 Ibid. 15 Ibid.,
195-96. 16 David
Perry, "Homes of Last Resort," The Advocate
(December 5, 1989) 46. 17 April
Martin, The Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook
(New York: HarperCollins, 1993) 133.
Flaks, Ficher, Masterpasqua, and Joseph,
"Lesbians Choosing Motherhood: A Comparative
Study of Lesbians and Heterosexual Parents
and Their Children," Developmental Psychology,
1995, volume 31, pp. 105-114.
Hoffman, Jan, "Unmarried Couples Challenging
State Law Barring Their Adoption Plans," The
New York Times, June 15, 1995, p. B-5.
Knight, Robert H. and Garcia, Daniel S.,
"Homosexual Parenting: Bad For Children, Bad
For Society," Insight, Family Research
Council, Washington, DC, 1995.
Patterson, Charlotte, "Adoption of Minor
Children by Lesbian and Gay Adults: A Social
Science Perspective," Duke Journal of Gender
Law and Policy, Spring 1995, volume 2
number 1, pp. 191-205.
Patterson, Charlotte, "Children of Lesbian
and Gay Parents,"Child Development,
1992, pp. 1025-1039.
Perry, David, "Homes of Last Resort," The
Advocate, December 5, 1989, pp. 45-48.
Potter, Sandra J., and Darty, Trudy E., "Social
Work and the Invisible Minority: An Exploration
of Lesbianism," Social Work, May 1981,
volume 26 number 3, pp. 187-192.
Poverny, Linda M., and Finch, Wilbur A.,
Jr., "Gay and Lesbian Domestic Partnerships:
Expanding the Definition of Family," Social
Casework, volume 69 number 2, February
1988, pp. 116-121.
Child Welfare League of America's Policy
Regarding Adoption by Gay or Lesbian Individuals
The Child Welfare League of America'sStandards for Adoption Service (1988)
address the issue of sexual orientation of
applicants in the following sections:
All applicants should have an equal opportunity
to apply for the consideration of their qualifications
as adoptive parents, under applicable law.
(5.4) Applicants should be fairly assessed
on their abilities to successfully parent
a child needing family membership and not
on their appearance, differing lifestyle,
or sexual preference. (5.4) Agencies should
assess each applicant from the perspective
of what would be in the best interest of the
child. The interest of the child is paramount.
(5.4) Sexual preference should not be the
sole criteria on which the suitability of
the adoptive applicants is based. Consideration
should be given to other personality and maturity
factors and on the ability of the applicant
to meet the specific needs of the individual
child. (5.8) The needs of the child are the
priority consideration in adoption.
Gay/lesbian adoptive applicants should be
assessed the same as any other adoptive applicant.
It should be recognized that sexual orientation
and the capacity to nurture a child are separate
issues. Staff and board training on cultural
diversity should include factual information
about gay men and lesbians as potential adoptive
resources for children needing families in
order to dispel common myths about gay men
and lesbians.
Gay and lesbian applicants should be informed
that biological parents are told about potential
adoptive parents for their child, including
the sexual orientation of the prospective
adoptive parent(s). Some biological parents
many choose not to consider gay or lesbian
families, and agencies usually follow the
expressed wishes of the parent.
Appendix II:
Statement of the American Psychological
Association Regarding Discrimination Against
Homosexuals: Adopted January 1975
The American Psychological Association (APA)
supports the action taken on December 15,
1973, by the American Psychiatric Association,
removing homosexuality from that Association's
official list of mental disorders. The American
Psychological Association therefore adopts
the following resolution:
Homosexuality per se implies no impairment
in judgment, stability, reliability, or general
social and vocational capabilities. Further,
the American Psychological Association urges
all mental health professionals to take the
lead in removing the stigma of mental illness
that has long been associated with homosexual
orientations.
Regarding discrimination against homosexuals,
the American Psychological Association adopts
the following resolution concerning their
civil and legal rights:
The American Psychological Association deplores
all public and private discrimination in such
areas as employment, housing, public accommodation,
and licensing against those who engage in
or have engaged in homosexual activities and
declares that no burden of proof of such judgment,
capacity, or reliability shall by placed upon
these individuals greater than that imposed
on any other persons. Further, the American
Psychological Association supports and urges
the enactment of civil rights legislation
at the local, State, and Federal level that
would offer citizens who engage in acts of
homosexuality the same protections now guaranteed
to others on the basis of race, creed, color,
etc. Further, the American Psychological Association
supports and urges the repeal of all discriminatory
legislation singling out homosexual acts by
consenting adults in private.
At its September 1976 meeting, the Task Force
on the Status of Lesbian and Gay Psychologists
of the Board of Social and Ethical Responsibility
for Psychology of the American Psychology
Association adopted the following position:
"The sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation
of natural or prospective adoptive or foster
parents should not be the sole or primary
variable considered in custody or placement."
The APA's Committees on Children, Youth and
Families, Lesbian and Gay Concerns, and Women
in Psychology is planning to publish by the
end of 1995 a publication called Lesbian
and Gay Parenting: A Resource For Psychologists.
It will contain a review of scientific literature
and a relatively extensive annotated bibliography.
Contact the APA in care of the committees
at: APA, 750 First St., N.E., Washington,
DC 20002-4242 or call (202) 336-5500.
Appendix III:
Statement of the National Association of
Social Workers Code of Ethics on Gay and Lesbian
Issues
Social workers should not practice, condone,
facilitate, or collaborate with any form of
discrimination on the basis of race, color,
sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, national
origin, marital status, political belief,
mental or physical handicap, or any other
preference or personal characteristic, condition,
or status.
Social workers should act to prevent and
eliminate discrimination against any person
or group on the basis of race, color, sex,
sexual orientation, age, religion, national
origin, marital status, political belief,
mental or physical handicap, or preference
or personal characteristic, condition, or
status.
Social workers should act to expand choice
and opportunity for all persons, with special
regard to disadvantaged or oppressed groups
and persons.
Appendix IV:
Policy Statement of the National Association
of Social Workers Regarding Homosexuality
The National Association of Social Workers
(NASW) recognizes that homosexuality has existed
throughout history and that same-sex orientation
should be afforded the same respect as that
of opposite-sex sexual orientation. NASW asserts
that discrimination and prejudice directed
against any minority group is damaging to
the mental health not only of the affected
minority but of the society as a whole. NASW
is committed to work toward the building of
a society in which all people will be accepted
as equals without regard to their sexual orientation.
NASW affirms that lesbian and gay individuals
are entitled to the rights of self-determination,
self-definition, and self-expression, as long
as the rights of others are not infringed.
To this end, NASW shall support legislation,
regulation, policies, judicial review, political
action, demonstrations, and other appropriate
means that will establish and protect equal
rights for all persons without regard to their
sexual orientation. This includes, but by
no means is limited to, working for the adoption
of policies and legislation to end all forms
of discrimination against lesbians and gay
men at the Federal, State, and local levels
in all institutions, including churches and
synagogues, and in both the public and private
sectors. NASW will support the repeal of all
laws against any forms of consensual adult
sexual activity as well. NASW will work toward
the elimination of prejudice, both inside
and outside the profession.
Homophobia and its resultant discrimination
give rise to "internalized oppression." This
creates problems regarding self-esteem and
self-image for lesbians and gay men. Social
workers need to be aware of this when working
with lesbians and gay men.
NASW should develop and sponsor educational
programs designed to train social workers
in the area of human sexuality, including
homosexuality and the needs of the lesbian
and gay communities. In cooperation with the
Council on Social Work Education (CSWE), NASW
would encourage instructors of social work
educational programs to include lesbian and
gay issues in their curricula. NASW, in cooperation
with CSWE, should encourage social work educational
institutions to develop nondiscrimination
policies regarding lesbian and gay male students
and staff. In cooperation with CSWE and other
institutions, NASW should undertake research
into all areas related to homosexuality and
practice and policy development.
Appendix V:
Support Groups For Gay and Lesbian Parents
Hundreds of support groups for lesbian and
gay families exist throughout the country.
The following list is modified from
The Gay and Lesbian Parenting Handbook.
Gantz, Joseph, Whose
Child Cries, JALMAR Press, Rolling
Hills Estates, CA, 1983.
Gil De Lamadrid, Maria, ed., Lesbians
Choosing Motherhood: Legal Implications of
Donor Insemination and Co-parenting, National
Center for Lesbian Rights, San Francisco,
1991.
This material may be reproduced
and distributed without permission; however,
appropriate citation must be given to the National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse.
For more information, contact the National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse at naic@calib.com.
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