Foster Parent
Adoption: What Parents Should Know
The practice of foster parent adoption is
growing. More and more public social service
agencies are finding that a child's foster
family often is the placement of choice when
that child becomes free for adoption. This
is especially true when the child or children
in question have special needs or are children
of color and when a strong feeling of attachment
has grown between foster parent and child
during the course of the foster care placement.
This factsheet is written for foster parents
who are considering adopting one or more of
their foster children. The information will
also be helpful to a foster parent who already
has adopted or to a new foster parent who
may be faced with the possibility of adoption
sometime in the future. Another factsheet
entitled "Foster
Parent Adoption: What Professionals Should
Know" also is available from the National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse.
This factsheet will discuss some of the issues
to think about as you consider adopting your
foster child or children. It includes a worksheet
to use in conjunction with your agency social
worker to guide you through the decisionmaking
process. At the end of this factsheet are
a list of references for further information
and a list of organizations with an interest
in foster parent adoption.
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Issues to Consider
In many ways, when a child lives in your
home with you, life is not terribly different
if he or she is officially a foster child
or an adopted child. The day-to-day tasks
involved in child rearing remain the same.
There are meals to cook, clothes to wash,
outings to plan, lessons to supervise, hugs
to savor, conversations to share, discipline
to administer, a mind to stimulate, talents
to develop, values to instill, and ambitions
to encourage. During the course of living,
growing, learning, and playing together, you
are very likely to become attached to the
child placed with you. So what is the big
deal if you decide to adopt? It is just more
of the same, right? Well, yes, but also, no.
Of course, there are many differences between
foster care and adoption, ranging from the
trivial to the significant. After a child
is adopted and postplacement visits have taken
place, a social worker will no longer come
by your home to visit. The child will have
your last name. You will not have to share
authority with an agency—decisions about
school, medical treatment, religious practice,
and a myriad of other parenting matters can
be made without someone looking over your
shoulder. The child will inherit from you
and is entitled to a share of your estate
equal to that of any of your other children.
You will be financially responsible for the
child's welfare until he or she reaches the
age of majority, and you will be liable for
his or her actions should he or she be involved
in a legal dispute.
Over and above these practical matters, you
will have to deal with emotional issues as
well. Because the child has experienced loss,
he or she will go through the grieving process,
perhaps over and over again at certain critical
times in his or her development. This is called
developmental grieving. You will become acquainted
with the stages of grief and the behavior
that goes along with each stage. The denial,
anger, and depression stages all have predictable
patterns of behavior that you soon will be
able to recognize, if you do not already.
You also will be learning about the concept
of entitlement—the awareness that this
child is now your child and that you have
the right to discipline, love, and care for
this child, totally and permanently. You will
have a stake in this child's future, and this
child will have a stake in yours.
When you adopt your foster child, especially
if the child has been with you for an extended
period of time, both you and the child's social
worker should help the child to understand
the significance of the change in status.
The child's lifebook, a personalized account
of his or her birth and placement history,
may be an important tool in facilitating this
understanding. It is very important that you
mark or celebrate the change from foster care
to adoption in some symbolic fashion, so that
the child really perceives the difference.
Children who have been moved around a lot
may not really understand what all the fuss
is about, but it should be made clear that
adoption is a major life event. A special
party, a family ceremony, even the sending
of formal announcements are all possible ways
of marking the adoption. Ask your child and
other family members what they would like
to do to commemorate this milestone.
When you adopt your foster child, you will
have to incorporate the child's birth family
experiences and background—and possibly
former foster care experiences—into your
family life. You must honor the child's birth
heritage and positive memories and build upon
them. If past experiences involved abuse or
neglect, especially sexual abuse, you should
receive special training to understand how
those experiences can affect a child in later
stages of development. If the child will have
contact with birth or former foster family
members, you should consider how visiting
or corresponding will work within the context
of your family.
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Availability of
Resources
If you adopt a child who has special needs—either
as a result of genetics, his or her placement
experiences, or a combination of these two
factors—you will be dealing with these
issues for an extended period of time. Adoption
subsidies can help with the financial aspects
of raising children with special needs, but
you also need to know what other resources
will be accessible to you. Some of the resources
you should investigate include the following:
- Postadoption services.—Are
postadoption services available from your
agency? Ask your social worker.
- Support groups.—Are there
groups in your area for adoptive parents
or organized around the particular special
need that your child has? Research your
community.
- Counselors or therapists.—Are
there counselors in your area who have expertise
in older child or special needs adoption?
Do they accept medicaid?
- Other foster parent adopters.—How
do other foster parents who have adopted
through your agency feel about the support
they have received? Talk to them.
- Family and friends.—Consult
your immediate and extended family members,
and other important people in your life.
Do they support your decision to adopt?
Will they stand behind you unflaggingly
if there are problems in this adoption that
are not solvable overnight? If they do not,
can you still handle it?
Ultimately you alone or you and your spouse
are going to be responsible for this child,
but knowing that there are some identifiable
supports may make that responsibility a little
easier to bear.
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Mutual Assessment
The central issue in changing from the role
of foster parent to that of an adoptive parent
is that of redefining your attachment to the
child that came about through daily living
as a full lifetime commitment. Are you ready,
willing, and able to see this child through
to adulthood and to afford him or her all
of the opportunities—and burdens—that
being a member of your family entails? Can
you see this child being a part of your life
long into the future? To do this, you and
your agency social worker should examine the
strengths and needs of your family, agency,
and community and evaluate the impact of adding
this particular child, with his or her particular
strengths and needs, to your family on a permanent
basis. This is what making an informed adoption
decision is all about.
Hopefully, your agency will walk you through
the process of evaluating the strengths and
needs of the child and your family to see
whether permanent placement with you is in
all of your best interests. The attached worksheet
will help you consider your personal adoption
readiness.
Conclusion
If you do adopt, be aware that there is a
large adoptive parent and professional support
network in this country. You definitely will
not be alone. As we noted earlier, foster
parent adoptions are happening more and more
frequently. There are adoptive family support
groups all over the country that provide a
forum for discussion, friendship, and mutual
assistance. Adoption conferences on the local,
regional, and national levels offer additional
learning opportunities. Literature on many
relevant topics is available to you, including
other publications from the Clearinghouse.
More and more professionals and agencies are
developing expertise in the area of postadoption
services. All of this means that if you have
an occasional rough period along the way,
knowledgeable and empathetic people can help
you through it.
Acknowledgments
The Clearinghouse would like to acknowledge
Heather L. Craig-Oldsen of the Child Welfare
Institute and Linda Whitfield of the National
Resource Center for Special Needs Adoption
for their invaluable assistance in the preparation
of this factsheet.
Written by Debra Smith, A.C.S.W., National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse, 1991.
Organization list revised, June 1994
Internet links added by Adoptions.com
2001-2008
[back to the Adoption
Education Center]
References
Barth, Richard et al. "Contributors to Disruption
and Dissolution of Older Child Adoptions."
Child Welfare 65, no. 4 (July-Aug.
1986): 359-71.
———. "Predicting Adoption
Disruption." Social Work 33, no. 3
(May-June 1988): 227-33.
Cole, Elizabeth. "Societal Influences on
Adoption." In Adoption: Current Issues
and Trends, edited by Paul Sachdev. Toronto:
Butterworths, 1984.
Coyne, Ann and Mary Ellen Brown. "Agency
Practices in Successful Adoption of Developmentally
Disabled Children." Child Welfare 65,
no. 1 (Jan.-Feb. 1986): 45-52.
Craig-Oldsen, Heather L. From Foster Parent
to Adoptive Parent: Helping Foster Parents
Make An Informed Decision About Adoption.
Atlanta: Child Welfare Institute, 1988.
Elbow, Margaret and Mary Knight. "Adoption
Disruption: Losses, Transitions, and Tasks."
Social Casework 68, no. 11 (Nov. 1987):
546-52.
Ford, Mary, and Joe Kroll. Challenges
to Child Welfare: Countering the Call for
a Return to Orphanages. St. Paul: North
American Council on Adoptable Children, 1990.
Jewett, Claudia L. Adopting
the Older Child. Boston: Harvard Common
Press, 1978.
Kadushin, Alfred. "Principles, Values and
Assumptions Underlying Adoption Practice."
In Adoption: Current Issues and Trends,
edited by Paul Sachdev. Toronto: Butterworths,
1984.
Katz, Linda. Seeing Kids Through to Permanence:
Preparing Permanency Planning Foster Parents.
Seattle: Lutheran Social Services of Washington-Idaho,
1988.
Meezan, William and Joan F. Shireman. "Antecedents
to Foster Parent Adoption Decisions." Children
and Youth Services Review 7, nos. 2 and
3 (1985): 207-24.
———. Care and Commitment:
Foster Parent Adoption Decisions. Albany:
State University of New York Press, 1985.
———. "Foster Parent Adoption:
A Literature Review." Child Welfare
61, no. 8 (Nov.-Dec. 1982): 525-35.
Mica, Maryanne D. and Nancy R. Vosler. "Foster-Adoptive
Programs in Public Social Service Agencies:
Toward Flexible Family Resources." Child
Welfare 69, no. 5 (Sept.-Oct. 1990): 433-46.
Proch, Kathleen. "Differences Between Foster
Care and Adoption: Perceptions of Adopted
Foster Children and Adoptive Foster Parents."
Child Welfare 61, no. 5 (May 1982):
259-68.
Regional Inspector General, Office of Analysis
and Inspections. Minority Adoptions.
Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health
and Human Services, 1988.
Rosenthal, James A., Dolores Schmidt, and
Jane Conner. "Predictors of Special Needs
Adoption Disruption: An Exploratory Study."
Children and Youth Services Review
10, no. 2 (1988): 101-17.
Triseliotis, John. "Identity and Security
in Adoption and Long-Term Fostering." Adoption
and Fostering 7, no. 1 (1983): 22-31.
Unger, Donald G., Penny Deiner, and Nancy
Wilson. "Families Who Adopt Children With
Special Needs." Children and Youth Services
Review 10, no. 4 (1988): 317-28.
Organizations With an Interest in Foster Parent
Adoption
Child
Welfare Institute
Two Midtown Plaza
1349 Peachtree St., West, Ste. 900
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 876-1934
Child
Welfare League of America
440 First Street, N.W., Suite 310
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 638-2952
Institute
for the Study of Children, Families and Communities
203 Boone Hall
Ypsilanti, MI 48197
734.487.0372
Lutheran
Social Services of Washington-Idaho (See
Note Bellow)
433 Minor Ave N
Seattle, WA 98109
206-694-5700
NOTE: Lutheran Social Services of Washington & Idaho
and Lutheran Family Services of Oregon & Southwest
Washington merged in 2001to create a new,
tri-state social ministry agency -- Lutheran
Community Services Northwest (LCSNW).
Child
Welfare Information Agency (formerly The
National Adoption Information Clearinghouse)
1250 Maryland Avenue, SW
Eighth Floor
Washington, DC 20024
703.385.7565 or 800.394.3366
National
Foster Parent Association
Information and Services Office
c/o Gordon Evans
226 Kilts Drive
Houston, TX 77024
(713) 467-1850
National
Resource Center for Special Needs Adoption
16250 Northland Drive, Suite 120
Southfield, MI 48075
248-443-7080
North
American Council on Adoptable Children
970 Raymond Avenue
Suite 106
St. Paul, MN 55114-1149
(612) 644-3036
From Foster Parent to Adoptive Parent:
A Strengths and Needs Worksheet 1
This worksheet is designed to be completed
by foster parents who are considering adopting
a child who has been living with them through
a foster care program. If there are two parents,
it is helpful for both to complete the worksheet
separately and then compare the strengths
and needs. Designed as a self-assessment tool,
the worksheet should provide some ideas to
be discussed with the agency social worker
for next steps in the decisionmaking process
toward a foster parent adoption. Needs will
indicate tasks to be accomplished. Please
note that this worksheet touches only a few
of the critical issues important to foster
parents who are considering adoption. For
further exploration of critical tasks, see
Resource Guidebook: From Foster Parent
to Adoptive Parent. This guidebook is
published by the Child
Welfare Institute. See the list of organizations
for its address and telephone number
| Foster Parent Adoption
Task |
Strengths:
(What I have done to accomplish this task.) |
Needs:
(What I still need to do.) |
I have discussed the entire
placement history of my child with at
least one social worker and believe I
have all information that is available.
|
|
|
I have identified several
strengths and several potential problems
with this adoption.
|
|
|
I have discussed ways to
solve the potential difficulties with
those I consider to be family.
|
|
|
I have all information
that is available about this child's birth
family and have determined ways to help
this child maintain positive connections
with his or her roots.
|
|
|
I have considered levels
of "openness" in adoption and have planned
for a level of openness that will meet
the needs of this child and work for our
family.
|
|
|
I have discussed the difference
between attachment and commitment with
those I consider to be family. Those close
to me understand that I am making a lifetime
commitment to a child who may later in
life have challenges and difficulties
as a result of early experiences.
|
|
|
| This child has a lifebook
which I plan to use to help him or her
understand the differences between foster
care and adoption as well as to help with
developmental grieving. |
|
|
I have considered the ways
this child expressed loss earlier in life
and have anticipated and planned for ways
this child may grieve at the time of adoption
and at other important milestones during
life (developmental grieving).
|
|
|
I have planned ways to
help this child maintain a tie to his
or her cultural, racial, or ethnic roots.
|
|
|
I have planned ways to
talk with other children in the family
about this adoption, including ways to
help the family understand the differences
between foster care and adoption.
|
|
|
I have planned for the
future financial and medical needs of
this child and have thoroughly discussed
subsidy with at least two social workers.
|
|
|
I have identified people
who will support me if I become discouraged.
|
|
|
I am pursuing adoption
willingly and at this time do not feel
coerced by a loved one or the agency.
|
|
|
I have talked with at least
one family who has adopted through the
foster care program.
|
|
|
I have considered this
decision for several months and believe
that adoption of this child is important
for the well being of this child, my family,
and myself.
|
|
|
1 This
worksheet is adapted with permission from material
published in From Foster Parent to Adoptive
Parent, developed by Heather L. Craig-Oldsen,
M.S.W., and published by the Child Welfare Institute,
1365 Peachtree Street, N.E., Suite 700, Atlanta,
GA 30309, 1988.
[back to the Adoption
Education Center]
This material may be reproduced
and distributed without permission; however,
appropriate citation must be given to the Child
Welfare Information Gateway (formerly
the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse).
Internet links added by Adoptions.com
2001- 2008
For more information, contact the Child
Welfare Information Gateway (formerly
the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse)
at info@childwelfare.gov.
|
